Disappointment

We are often more critical of ourselves than anyone else. That is, we set high standards and then are disappointed when we don’t meet those standards. When I started this blog March 14, my first goal was to blog every day, for 30 days. It wasn’t about getting people to read the blog or sell ads or write something Pulitzer-worthy. It was about effort. I forgot to post yesterday.

To be honest, my Saturday posts have not been all that. The best description of my Saturday posts is “lame.” But they existed – until yesterday. It was a busy day, and I didn’t turn on my computer the whole day. I think I might have thought about posting once or twice during the day, but I wasn’t at my computer and I didn’t send myself a reminder. Saying “I forgot” always strikes me as a pathetic excuse, but I really did forget.

I am very critical of myself. At times like these, I struggle with disappointment and forgiveness. Is it easier to forgive yourself than it is to forgive others, or vice versa? For me, it’s probably easier for me to forgive others – which ain’t easy at all. I’m not a very forgiving person. It’s a flaw. But I’m going to forgive myself for forgetting to blog yesterday. So I missed my 30 blogs in 30 days. It’s not the end of the world. Oh, I feel guilty as hell for saying that – even thinking it – but it was my goal. It’s my fault. It’s my error. It’s my disappointment.

If nothing else, I’m owning it.

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